Emotional Inertia and AuDHD: Why It’s Hard to Shift Feelings

For many people with AuDHD (the combination of autism and ADHD), emotions can feel like they move in extremes. At times, they arrive with overwhelming force, while at others they feel completely stuck. This “stuckness” is often described as emotional inertia — the difficulty of shifting from one emotional state to another, even when you desperately want to.

Emotional inertia isn’t a lack of feeling. It’s the experience of being trapped in a particular emotional state, unable to “snap out of it” or redirect yourself, no matter how much logic or external encouragement you’re given. For AuDHD individuals, this can show up in daily life in ways that feel frustrating, exhausting, and sometimes misunderstood by others.

What is Emotional Inertia?

Emotional inertia describes the difficulty of changing emotions once they’ve taken hold. Think of it as your brain having a “stuck gear.” If you’re upset, you may stay upset far longer than the situation seems to warrant. If you’re content, you might struggle to switch gears when something new requires your attention.

For AuDHD people, this isn’t stubbornness or unwillingness — it’s neurological. The combination of autism and ADHD means that both emotional regulation and attention regulation can work differently, creating a kind of emotional “lag” that makes transitions extra challenging.

Does Emotional Inertia Only Happen in AuDHD?

While emotional inertia is particularly common in people with AuDHD, it isn’t exclusive to this group. Many neurodivergent people experience it, though it may show up in different ways:

• Autistic people often describe emotional inertia as part of their difficulties with transitions. Once an emotion takes hold, it can be very hard to shift away from it, especially if the situation feels unresolved.

  
  

• ADHDers may experience emotional inertia alongside emotional dysregulation, with feelings hitting suddenly and then lingering far longer than expected.

  
  

• People with depression can also feel stuck in certain emotional states, such as sadness or numbness, though here it is often tied to mood regulation rather than sensory or attentional differences.

  
  

• Those with trauma histories may find themselves caught in loops of fear, shame, or anxiety, unable to break free without support.

  
  

In short, emotional inertia can affect many neurodivergent people — but in AuDHD it is often amplified by the combination of autistic processing differences and ADHD’s intensity of feeling.

Why Emotional Inertia Happens in AuDHD

Several factors contribute to emotional inertia in AuDHD:

• Differences in emotional regulation – ADHD can make emotions feel more intense and harder to soothe, while autism can bring a slower emotional processing style. Together, they can create states that are powerful and difficult to shift.

  
  

• Hyperfocus on emotions – Just as ADHD can create hyperfocus on tasks, it can also lock attention onto emotional experiences, making it hard to let go.

  
  

• Sensory overwhelm – When your body is overloaded, emotions may linger longer as your system struggles to return to baseline.

  
  

• Difficulty with transitions – For autistic people, transitions are often challenging. This applies not only to tasks but also to shifting from one emotional state to another.

  
  

• RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) – When rejection or criticism triggers a strong response, emotional inertia can hold you in that distress long after the moment has passed.

  
  

A Personal Note

As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), I experience emotional inertia myself. Sometimes it can be really frustrating when I feel unable to shift my mood, even when I want to. It’s painful for me, but also for those close to me — my family might see me stuck in sadness, irritation, or withdrawal, and wonder why I can’t just “snap out of it.”

For me, emotional inertia feels like being trapped in a state that doesn’t match the present moment anymore. Even if the problem has passed, my emotions stay locked in place, and it takes time, compassion, and patience to move through it. I know many of my neurodivergent clients resonate with this too — and naming it as “emotional inertia” can help reduce shame and open up gentler ways of responding.

Real-Life Examples of Emotional Inertia

• In relationships: After a disagreement with a partner or friend, you may still feel hurt or angry hours later, even if the issue was resolved. From the outside, it may look like you’re “holding a grudge,” when really your nervous system hasn’t been able to shift out of that emotional state yet.

  
  

• At work or school: If you make a mistake on a project, the frustration or shame can stay with you for the rest of the day. Even positive feedback later might not cut through the emotional “fog” — your brain is still replaying the earlier error.

  
  

• In daily life: A small disruption to your routine (a bus running late, a change of plan) can set off irritation or anxiety that doesn’t easily fade, even once the disruption is over. The initial emotional spark gets “stuck” and lingers far longer than expected.

  
  

Managing Emotional Inertia in AuDHD

While emotional inertia can’t be eliminated, understanding it — and working with it instead of against it — can make it easier to manage.

1. Name It

Simply recognising that what you’re experiencing is emotional inertia can reduce self-blame. Instead of thinking “I should be over this by now,” you can say, “My brain is taking longer to shift emotions — and that’s okay.”

2. External Soothing Tools

Sometimes emotions won’t shift on their own. Try grounding strategies such as:

• Movement (walking, stretching, shaking out tension)

• Sensory tools (weighted blanket, calming scents, music)

• Changing your environment (moving to a different room, going outside)

  
  

3. Time Buffering

Give yourself extra time when emotions run high. If you know you struggle to move quickly from one state to another, plan breaks before tackling new tasks or conversations.

4. Communicate Your Needs

Letting trusted people know about emotional inertia can reduce misunderstandings. You might say:“I need more time to shift out of this feeling. I’m not ignoring you — I just can’t move on yet.”

5. Therapeutic Support

Therapy can provide a safe space to explore emotional stuckness without judgement. As a Gestalt therapist, I often work with clients to connect body sensations with emotions, which helps build awareness of when inertia is taking hold and how to gently support emotional movement.

Final Thoughts

For AuDHD individuals, emotional inertia isn’t a flaw — it’s part of the unique way your brain and body process the world. But it’s not limited to AuDHD. Autistic people, ADHDers, and others with neurodivergent traits often share this experience, each in their own way.

As someone who experiences it myself as a Highly Sensitive Person, I know how frustrating and painful it can be — not only for the person living it, but also for the people around them. Understanding emotional inertia, and naming it for what it is, can ease that frustration and create more room for compassion.

With the right strategies, support, and self-acceptance, it’s possible to work with emotional inertia instead of fighting against it — giving yourself more balance, patience, and space for emotional recovery.

Further Reading

Explore more about the AuDHD experience:

• The Push and Pull of AuDHD: Navigating Contradictory Needs

• Burnout and Shutdown: The Hidden Cost of Living with AuDHD

• https://medium.com/@shadabhassan1199/emotional-inertia-why-feelings-stick-around-2434604ef6e4

  
  

The content on this page is provided for general information only. It is not intended to, and does not mount to advice which you should rely on. If you think you are experiencing any medical condition you should seek immediate medical attention from a doctor or other professional healthcare provider.