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Receiving an ADHD or autism diagnosis in adulthood can be transformative. For many, it brings a sense of relief, helping explain lifelong challenges and unique strengths. However, it can also come with questions, mixed emotions, and uncertainty about what lies ahead. This guide will walk you through what to expect, common challenges, and practical steps to embrace your neurodivergent identity with self-compassion and confidence.
Understanding Your Diagnosis: A New Perspective on Self
For years, you may have felt “different” or struggled to fit into a world designed for neurotypical brains. A diagnosis provides a new lens for understanding who you are. It validates the experiences you’ve had and shines a light on why certain things may have felt harder, from managing daily tasks to navigating social interactions. While this realisation can be freeing, it can also raise questions about what the diagnosis means for your future.
Embracing Neurodivergence
It’s important to remember that ADHD and Autism are both forms of neurodivergence—variations in the brain’s structure and function. Neurodivergent individuals often have unique ways of perceiving, interacting with, and experiencing the world. Recognising and embracing neurodivergence allows you to appreciate your strengths, while also understanding the areas where you may need additional support or accommodations.
Common Emotional Responses to a Diagnosis
A diagnosis can prompt a range of emotions. Here are some common feelings people experience and ways to navigate them:
Relief: You may feel validated, with a newfound understanding of yourself. It’s okay to let go of past self-judgements and recognise that you were doing your best all along.
Grief: Some people feel grief, mourning the years spent without this knowledge or struggling to fit into environments that didn’t support their needs. This is a normal response, and you can allow yourself to feel this loss.
Hope: Many people feel hopeful, realising they now have tools to advocate for themselves. This can open new doors to personal growth, self-acceptance, and meaningful change.
Remember that these feelings are valid, and it’s okay if they come and go. Embracing each one as part of the process can help you move forward with greater self-compassion.
Building Self-Acceptance: Letting Go of Old Narratives
For years, you may have internalised messages that you were “lazy,” “too sensitive,” or “not trying hard enough.” These narratives often arise from a lack of understanding and awareness about neurodivergence. Now, you have an opportunity to let go of self-criticism and replace it with a kinder perspective.
Practical Steps to Build Self-Acceptance
Acknowledge Your Unique Strengths: ADHD and Autism often come with valuable strengths, such as creativity, problem-solving, attention to detail, and deep empathy. Take time to recognise and celebrate these strengths.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk: When old, critical thoughts arise, try to replace them with gentler affirmations that reflect your newfound understanding.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Seek friends, family, or professionals who affirm neurodivergent experiences and offer understanding and empathy.
Finding Community and Resources
Connecting with others who share similar experiences can be deeply comforting. There’s power in being part of a community where you don’t have to explain yourself, where others simply “get it.”
Where to Start
Online Communities: Sites like Reddit (r/ADHD, r/Autism) and specialised forums can offer a sense of camaraderie. You’ll find shared experiences, resources that can make the journey easier.
Local Support Groups: Many areas offer in-person or virtual support groups for adults with ADHD or Autism. This can be a great way to meet others, share experiences, and exchange advice.
Neurodivergent-Affirming Professionals: Consider working with a therapist, coach, or counsellor who understands ADHD and Autism from a neurodiversity-affirming perspective. They can provide valuable tools and a safe space for exploration.
Practical First Steps to Navigate Daily Life
An ADHD or Autism diagnosis can bring clarity around areas of daily life that may have felt challenging. Here are some practical steps to ease daily tasks and improve well-being:
1. Set Up Routines and Supports that Work for You
ADHD and Autism can affect executive functioning—the mental processes that help with planning, organisation, and task completion. Try using supportive tools like planners, checklists, and reminders. Experiment with different strategies until you find what works best for you.
2. Learn About Sensory Preferences
Sensory sensitivities are common in both ADHD and Autism. Understanding your sensory preferences and triggers (like sound, lighting, smells or textures) can help create a comfortable environment, whether at home, work, or in social settings.
3. Prioritise Self-Care and Downtime
Burnout is common for neurodivergent individuals who try to keep up with neurotypical expectations. Embrace regular rest, engaging in activities that recharge you, and don’t hesitate to say no when needed.
4. Advocate for Accommodations
Whether at work, school, or home, advocating for reasonable adjustments can make a significant difference. This might mean requesting flexible hours, using noise-cancelling headphones, or creating a workspace that aligns with your needs.
5. Practice Self-Compassion Daily
Remember that ADHD and Autism don’t define your worth or limit your potential. Approach each day with self-compassion, recognising that learning to support yourself is a journey that takes time.
Moving Forward with Confidence and Curiosity
Navigating a new diagnosis is a process that takes patience, self-discovery, and self-compassion. Be kind to yourself as you explore what this diagnosis means for you, knowing there’s no “right” way to approach it. Each person’s journey with ADHD or Autism is unique, and the most important thing is to honour what feels true for you.
Embrace this time as an opportunity to redefine what thriving means to you—not by others’ standards, but in ways that align with your authentic self.
Here are more resources about diagnosis, living with ADHD and Autism and where to find support groups:
ADHD
Autism
The content on this page is provided for general information only. It is not intended to, and does not mount to advice which you should rely on. If you think you are experiencing any medical condition you should seek immediate medical attention from a doctor or other professional healthcare provider.